Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
