I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
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I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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