New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize