It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
