Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
