Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There r osticjed everywhere
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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