He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
