If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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