Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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