Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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