my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
