well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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