lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
