Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
