physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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