The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
