Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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