oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
