Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
