come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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