You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
