I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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