i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
