Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
