I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize