You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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