Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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