Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize