Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My ATM looks so different sober.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
