five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
