i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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