I didn't shave. On purpose
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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