I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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