I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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