sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
