Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
