she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
