I think this baby is eyeing my beer
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
