I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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