Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
