I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
