Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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