i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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