Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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