In the future we'll all be gay
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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