I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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