i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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