The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
