If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
