they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
