I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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