I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He has the fingertips of a God
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