Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
