Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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