im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
