I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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