she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize